Prayer

"Prayer in the sense of petition, asking for things, is a small part of it; confession and penitence are its threshold, adoration its sanctuary, the presence and vision and enjoyment of God its bread and wine. In it God shows Himself to us. That He answers prayers is a corollary—not necessarily the most important one—from that revelation. What He does is learned from what He is...'God,' said Pascal, 'instituted prayer in order to lend to His creatures the dignity of causality.'"
- C.S. Lewis

John Piper articulates the privilege of prayer in John Piper's way:

E-Day Consolation

“In government, the sin of pride manifests itself in the recurring delusion that things are under control.” George Will

"He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” Luke 1:32-33

"If God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you. Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." Luke 12:28-32

Bookshelf

Two books I'm excited to be reading:


"The fundamental principles of a culture, the story it accepts as true, its people's dreams, ideals, and vision, provide the foundation for its development."

"For much of the twentieth century, an intellectual war as raged within Christendom between those who would give priority to either evangelism or social action. Both sides are right, and both are wrong. Transformation means nothing less than radical change, in all spheres of life, as when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly. It is not merely a change in religious sentiments but a radical reorientation of a person's life."


"From the moment I arrived in Kurdistan, I felt as if I had fallen through the back door of the world and into a tragic magic kingdom -- the kind of place where tyrants' castles reigned over mist-filled valleys, beautiful damsels ran away with doomed princes, and ten-foot-tall heroes battled scaly green dragons as good clashed swords with evil."

New York Times article on Kurdistan

The famous NYT spotlighted Arbil, Kurdistan in their travel section last week. Check it out!

Fast Food Devotional Books and Puritans

Help me to honor thee by believing before I feel, for great is the sin if I make feeling a cause of faith.

I've never been much of a "devotions book" girl, but I do remember one time, back in Jr. High, when I gave one of Rebecca St. James' devotional books my best shot. Unfortunately, as a 7th grader, my "devotion" time was probably more about hero-worship than God-worship. (Confession time: I totally wanted to be Rebecca St. James then, and devoutly practiced my singing of "It's God! Truly Go-hod!" every day after school. Sigh.)

Since then, I suppose I've not been too keen on Christian devotional books that start out as a devotional book. What I mean is, a book that was meant to sell itself to people looking for that perfect devotional book. If the writer puts together a work with their eye on its publication, I venture to say it's more often geared toward someone like me with hero-worship tendencies. For example, Christianbook.com's best-seller list includes:

1 - A book by "America's best preacher," Max Lucado, an iconic figure in today's Christian book club.
2 - A book featured on Kirk Cameron's movie, Fireproof. 40 days of learning the true nature of love based on a catchy game of truth or dare.
3 - A leadership expert's meditations on success and teamwork.
4 - An inspiring teen devotional meant to encourage youth "embarking on a new path in life."

Don't get me wrong, I don't think best-sellers are bad. And I don't think there is anything wrong with a book that appeals to a certain generation, or even a book that sells because of the reputation of the author. But among the books I mention above, one common selling-point seems to be: uplifting, inspiring and brimming with hope. Of course. Because it's no mystery that we all crave positive reinforcement. Me especially.

I like searching for fast-food answers to my greatest failures. When I've genuinely screwed up, I want instant reprieve, a quick fix: how do I cover this one up? What do I do to make people realize this just isn't as it seems? I admit to feeling a little boost of confidence when someone tells me, "Oh, you're just wonderful. Don't be too hard on yourself. You didn't mean it." The high lasts for a minute, and then fades, strangely. Fortunately, I've been blessed with some very true friends who help me admit my failures. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy." (Proverbs 27:6). I hope you have friends like these in your life. If you don't, call me and I'll set you up.

I suppose the real reason for my search for easy answers is that I don't know where my true encouragement comes from. There's the self-gratifying illusion of encouragement: "You're not as bad as you seem. Buck up!; It could be worse. Besides, Jesus wants you to be happy." And then there's the self-deprivating, lazy form of encouragement: "You're God's puppet; give it up, check out -- let go and let God." I'm not sure which is worse. But I fluctuate between both when my security is not in Christ alone.

All that to say (finally), I'm currently a fan of The Valley of Vision, a compilation of Puritan Prayers. The prayers are full of depth -- themes of depravity, God's grace, redemption, sanctification. I find them powerful to pray, because I am speaking of all these things simultaneously, not thematically. As I am uncovering some of my sin, I'm also discovering God's infinite mercy and sovereignty.


As an example, one of the prayers I read recently was entitled, "The Divine Will." The quote at the beginning of this post is from this prayer. This sentence struck me because I was reminded of how readily I test the truth and validity of God's promises for me based on how I feel about them... and I do this before I believe them.

I received an email from a fellow believer who recently decided to go back out on the mission field. In the email, he repented of this same tendency. He said, "Being the control freak that I am, I wanted to see how God would work out all the physical details. In prayer, God showed me that I wouldn't accept similar behavior from one of my own children. I would want my kids to trust me, obey, and patiently wait to see how I've arranged things."

When I read that, I was reminded of my own faithlessness... and how I try (and fail) to diminish God's glory by glorifying my own feelings. I thought about that one sentence I had read: Help me to honor thee by believing before I feel, for great is the sin if I make feeling a cause of faith. .

In short (because this post is getting awfully long): I crave positive feelings. But great is my sin if I turn to my own feelings before trusting and relying on Him.

A great lesson learned from a dead Puritan guy's words.

Arbil

Well, it finally hit me. A few nights ago, at 4 am, I sat straight up in bed and thought, "I'm going to Iraq. Huh. Are you kidding?" And then I went back to sleep and dreamed about shopping. (Which is weird, by the way, that I was dreaming about something so ordinary. Usually my dreams are about talking raisins or quadratic equations -- funny that those rhyme kind of.)

Preparing for this trip has been unlike any other experience. I feel like I should be getting some sort of a how-to manual in the next few weeks...? This just might be a defining moment in my history of adventures! Truly, I do feel that God is preparing my heart. I can't explain it, but He's been at work.

In the meantime, I'm learning all I can about the city of Arbil, where I'll be living. Arbil was once a Jewish kingdom, then became the center of Christianity (around AD 100). It wasn't until around the 13th century that it became predominately Muslim. Below are some cool pictures I found:

Sushi the Cat

My roommate Chelsea and I somehow managed to adopt a neighborhood cat named Sushi. Every morning as I'm about to leave, she bounds up to the front porch step and begs for attention. Occasionally I'll bring her a little dish with water or milk. Today I finally stooped down to give her a little TLC. She was in kitty heaven.

Can I come in, please?