Seashells and dead butterflies

I think I made mention of my homeschooling past in an earlier post. Beware, this post is even scarier.

When I come home, the relics of this past haunt me. I went into what my mom calls "The Little Room" -- where she keeps my old wicker furniture, stuffed animals, Boxcar Children books and American girl dolls. Everything in there really is little -- and somehow reminds me of Alice in Wonderland.

Yesterday I went into The Little Room to put something into storage, and I discovered (or rediscovered) yet another trophy of my homeschool days: two drawers stuffed full of seashells, some of them even neatly stacked on top of one another -- biggest on the bottom, smallest on top. Are you kidding me? Where did all these sea shells come from? And why has my mom tolerated it all these years?

Then I began to recall the various things I used to collect, and the list forming in my head began to weigh heavy on my spirit: Pencils. Stamps. Stickers. Rocks, for which I even had my grandfather build a customized box. Pretty paper. Dead butterflies. Book marks. Anything shiny. Ribbons. Glass bottles. Beads. Leaves. Little tea sets, little cars, or anything that was cute and little. And last but not least, seashells.

Sometimes my poor mom, overwhelmed with the clutter, would kindly suggest that I go through my stuff and decide what I might like to throw away. To me, that was like asking me to give up my life's work.

What was the obsession? Why would I have "rescued" an expired butterfly and gently placed it in a jewelry box (other than to give it a proper burial, I suppose)? Why did I enjoy taking the handles off J.C. Penny paper bags and tying them around glass bottles? What was with the seashell Tower of Babel?

Even last night I was faced with a freakishly strong desire to keep the ribbons that held together a discount down blanket I had just bought at a department store. I spent 10 minutes trying to decide what I could do with them, battling the practical side of me that was saying, "Throw them away, throw them away!"

The only answer I can begin to give myself is that by nature I am a sub-creator. Though nowadays the practical side of me is more likely to kick in, I used to enjoy taking what was already out there in nature, categorizing it, giving it purpose, and sometimes combining two things to make something "new." Sometimes it was disastrous, and sometimes it was actually kind of cool. Now it's a little scary, but who knows what impact it made on the way I think about the world around me. Perhaps I have a better appreciation for the way God created order out of nothing, and will one day restore order to the chaos around us. He has promised to make everything new and right.

What did you collect as a kid, and why did you do it? What lessons can you learn from your strange past?

1st Day of Advent

"All heaven and earth resound with that subtle and delicately balanced truth that the old paths are the best paths after all."
- J.C. Ryle

Prayer for the First Sunday of Advent
Book of Common Prayer, 1789

Almighty God, give us grace
that we may cast away the works of darkness,
and put upon us the armor of light,
now in the time of this mortal life
in which thy Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility;
that in the last day,
when he shall come again in his glorious majesty
to judge both the quick and the dead,
we may rise to the life immortal;
through him who liveth and reigneth with thee
and the Holy Ghost,
one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Tyranny guised as freedom

I might be taking a risk here -- but I'm getting on a "conservative soapbox" for just a minute.

One of the basic premises of Obama's speech at Planned Parenthood seemed to be this: conservatism is obsolete ("culture wars are just so nineties!"), progressivism must take its place, and choice is common sense. Virtues such as fidelity and abstinence are good and all, but these are ideals, not reality. Unintended teen pregnancies are a tragedy, an illness, and we need to give girls access to the medicines that will help them get rid of it. Unintended babies are a national health problem, a limitation to our dreams.

My response: Can we seriously be tolerant of a policy that suggests that it is "tragic" for a girl to have to sacrifice her own dream and raise her child, but it is not a tragedy to vacuum a child from its mother's womb? At the heart of "choice" is a demand for freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want. A society that values this false sense of freedom, and a government that encourages (and I fear even enforces) this type of mindset, I believe will never "prosper" (a word Obama also used).

If our government has the power to make policies regarding life, I believe it is not just Obama's mistake, it's a mistake on all of us who tolerate it. I believe we have two dangers on our hands: 1) We have invaded the prerogative of God, who is the creator and sustainer of life, and the One who determines from whence it comes, and 2) we are once again limiting freedom by legislating it. Freedom to pursue your dreams will not come from a set of laws or acts. Regulated freedom is no freedom at all, but rather tyranny in the guise of freedom and choice.

"Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

"Why, then, did God give them free will? Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having. A world of automata-- of creatures that worked like machines-- would hardly be worth creating. The happiness which God designs for His higher creatures is the happiness of being freely, voluntarily united to Him and to each other in an ecstasy of love and delight compared with which the most rapturous love between a man and a woman on this earth is mere milk and water. And for that they must be free." -- C.S. Lewis

"Because Christ conquered death, as shown in his resurrection from the grave, the final victory is assured. We can thus be cultural optimists, both realistic and idealistic at the same time."
-Darrow Miller in Discipling Nations

Prayer

"Prayer in the sense of petition, asking for things, is a small part of it; confession and penitence are its threshold, adoration its sanctuary, the presence and vision and enjoyment of God its bread and wine. In it God shows Himself to us. That He answers prayers is a corollary—not necessarily the most important one—from that revelation. What He does is learned from what He is...'God,' said Pascal, 'instituted prayer in order to lend to His creatures the dignity of causality.'"
- C.S. Lewis

John Piper articulates the privilege of prayer in John Piper's way:

E-Day Consolation

“In government, the sin of pride manifests itself in the recurring delusion that things are under control.” George Will

"He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” Luke 1:32-33

"If God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you. Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." Luke 12:28-32